Making It Up as We Go: Approaching Life Like an Improviser
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We are all improvising all of the time. Improvisers do it on a stage for laughs and applause, while the rest of us are constantly making it up as we go (and almost never getting standing ovations for our efforts). In order to improvise games, scenes, even a two-act Shakespearean play or a full Broadway-style musical (both of which I do weekly as a professional improviser and improv teacher), theatrical improvisers cultivate a willingness to take risks, a well-developed sense of play, and major trust in oneself and one’s teammates.
Improvisation requires performers to be exquisitely present as both active listeners and bold move-makers. It also requires a whole lot of resilience when things inevitably go “wrong.” As opposed to many games humans play, the goal in improvisational games is not to win, but to collaborate with others honestly, productively, and joyfully. For my MAPP capstone, I surveyed 173 improvisers and actors and found that the relational skills improvisers attributed to their improv training (practicing active listening, responding with positivity and support, and learning to trust themselves and empathize with others) had benefited them greatly offstage, too!
We’re all just making it up as we go. Improvisers, however, are experts at making it fun as they go, and they reap well-being benefits as a result. I believe anyone can benefit from applying the philosophies of improvisation to daily life. So what are some of the “rules” of good improv and how might you apply them?
“Yes And”
Let’s start with the basics. Perhaps the only unassailable rule of improvisation is the rule of “yes and.” As improvisers, our responsibility within a scene is to accept the reality our scene partner has established (yes) and to contribute by adding to that reality (and). Saying “yes” to your partner is how you acknowledge their contribution and accept it as true. It’s how you make them feel valued. Two people need not agree with each other to successfully improvise together as long as they are listening and accepting each other’s reality.
The and in “yes and” is your opportunity to contribute. In positive psychology we call this active-constructive responding. In improv we call it “and.” You can add value by building upon what has been established and heightening it in a multitude of ways (often by simply having an opinion or adding detail). Responding positively and with specifics when good news is shared communicates to the speaker that they were heard and appreciated and has been shown to improve relationships. Anything you add that expands or augments what has already been established gives your scene partner something new to “yes and.” Talk about an upward spiral!
Yes is awareness, acceptance, and appreciation. Yes is “I am listening.” Yes is “Great idea, I can’t wait to play with you.” And is agency, autonomy, and action. And is building a story together. And is adding your own brick to the cathedral. Isaac Prilleltensky tells us that mattering, the feeling of being valued by and adding value to our friends, family, and community, is absolutely essential to well-being. “Yes and” is a way to actively create an environment of mattering wherever you are.
Look for ways to “yes and” your friends, family, and co-workers in real life. Rather than pointing out what won’t work about someone else’s idea, can you find an opportunity to enthusiastically support them and even add value to their suggestion? “Yes, we should totally walk to the park! And how ‘bout we pick up some snacks on the way and have ourselves a picnic?” While you’re practicing this, don’t forget to “yes and” yourself, too. Your own ideas are valuable and deserve to be bolstered. Think the couch might look better on the other wall? What if, instead of second-guessing or doubting, you told yourself: “Yes! The couch would look amazing over there. What a great idea! I should rearrange the living room. I’m an interior decorating genius!”
“Surrender Your Agenda”
Surrender your agenda is an admonition to let go of your plan for the scene. That’s not to say you should never set goals or come in with an idea. Your idea may be a wonderful gift to your scene partner. But since much of what happens around us is out of our control (including how our scene partners react), a great improviser is always ready to change direction at a moment’s notice and (importantly) without pouting. Surrendering your agenda is about living in the present moment, embracing change, and accepting what’s actually happening in front of you (rather than what you wanted to happen). It’s about riding the current wherever it takes you, rather than struggling to build a dam. Which may lead you to the next rule . . .
“Follow the Fun”
Follow the fun is a reminder that at any point an improviser may choose to act in a way that will bring them the most joy. Profess your love. Pack your bags. Poke the beehive. You can do anything you want at any time. If you are stuck in a scene you hate, you are choosing to stay stuck there. Make choices and take actions that make the scene more fun for yourself, your teammates, and your audience. According to Barbara Fredrickson, experiencing positive emotions like laughter, joy, excitement, and inspiration don’t just feel good in the moment, they also help us to undo the effects of negative emotional experiences, learn new skills and information, form alliances, and cultivate positive relationships. Positive emotions also make it more likely that we will experience more positive emotions in the future, thus creating that beloved upward spiral. When following the fun, improvisers often report experiencing what is referred to as flow. Do what delights you, and the scene you’re in (or the life you’re living) will inevitably become more delightful.
“Every Mistake is a Gift”
The moments we fail or fumble or go off the rails are the moments of true improvisation and discovery. Acknowledging and celebrating the failures transforms them into successes—and, side note, usually makes them the funniest moments of the scene. Why do audiences love watching improvisers boldly screw up? Why is the funniest sketch of any episode of Saturday Night Live* the one where an actor flubs a line, gets the giggles, and no one else in the scene can keep it together? I believe it’s because when those mistakes are authentic, what we are seeing is deeply honest, vulnerable, and fearless. Failing without floundering gives everyone around you confidence. It shows that you care, that you’re trying your hardest to do something you’re not perfect at, and, occasionally, it gives everyone a good laugh.
Instead of trying frantically to hide mistakes, improvisers learn to confidently point right at them, double down, and make them an asset. When might it benefit you (and those around you) to acknowledge that you blew it? Can you allow yourself to be vulnerable, wrong, even the butt of the joke? It might just transform embarrassment to accomplishment.
Practicing letting go of the plan and enjoying the chaos of uncertainty teaches us to savor reality, experience gratitude, and explore strengths. In improv, as in life, the rules are merely suggestions. The best improvisers know that a joyful sense of play paired with a hefty measure of emotional intelligence will carry you significantly further than strict adherence to any set of rules. You don’t need to be a great improviser, however, to use the philosophies of improvisation to help you flourish. Here’s hoping we all find some fun to follow today!
*I am definitely not suggesting that Saturday Night Live is improvised. It is a highly scripted, meticulously planned show. But when actors break (or “corpse” if you live outside the U.S.), those moments are refreshingly unplanned (and wonderful).
Erica Elam is an actor, improviser, writer, director, teacher, and positive psychology practitioner. She has facilitated groundbreaking corporate training and education sessions since 2005 using improvisational techniques to develop more agile leaders, effective communicators, productive collaborators, and all-around better humans. She recently returned from Dublin, Ireland, where she led training for a group of Facebook sales managers from across Europe. She served as visiting faculty at Princeton University, and has led workshops at Dartmouth, Stanford, Notre Dame, and many other top universities. She’s delivered training for companies including Google, Budweiser, Chase, Kellogg's, Glade, Red Lobster and Hershey's to improve communication and creativity. Erica improvises all over the world with the critically-acclaimed improv groups, The Improvised Shakespeare Company and Baby Wants Candy. She has performed at world- renowned theaters including The Kennedy Center, The Goodman, Chicago Shakespeare, Steppenwolf, and The Second City, where she also teaches. She is a 2020 graduate of the Masters in Applied Positive Psychology program at the University of Pennsylvania.
