Pandemic Positive: How MAPP Alumni Stay Up when COVID has Us Down
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In many ways, the COVID-19 pandemic is something we all have in common. Yet our personal experiences vary widely, depending on our unique circumstances. It follows that our approaches to coping, adapting, and even flourishing, are different, too. As I connected personally and professionally with a few of my MAPP alumni friends in the early months, I heard stories of new routines and rituals. Many were devised as necessities to address the big lifestyle changes brought on by remote work and school. Others seemed to be joy-filled, inspired by newfound opportunities of staying close to home. By mid-summer, I became quite curious about what activities this community of extraordinary people, devoted to enhancing worldwide well-being, were putting into place in their own lives, in order to survive and to thrive in this difficult time.
When the editors of MAPP Alumni Magazine suggested an article on the practices and rituals that our community is using during the pandemic, inspired by MAPP 8 grad Karen Warner, I was all in. I collected stories from ten of my fellow alumni, and combined them with early pandemic-related research. I was deeply inspired by the range of activities submitted, each one offering an idea that might be customized for any family or community. The greater narrative that emerged is that we can apply the science of well-being in times of upheaval by being aware of our gifts in the present moment, planning joyful activities into our days, going outdoors to be in nature, contributing to the well-being of others, connecting socially while physically distant, and returning to tried and true (and scientifically validated!) positive psychology practices. What follows are stories of how to put into practice the theories and research findings learned during MAPP studies, including vignettes from the vanguards in the first MAPP class 15 years ago, all the way to our most recent, 2020 graduates.
Being Together in Nature
Prior to COVID lockdown, Pax Tandon, MAPP ’10, and her mom, met weekly for movies and shopping. Beginning in March 2020, when cinemas were closed and shopping was limited, they found a creative and meaningful way to adapt. “We made the deliberate decision to find a replacement, so we didn't lose our valuable connection time, nor feel deprived,” says Pax. Because her parents have been members of the Society of Friends for many decades, Pax and her Mom were able to meet at the Quaker gardens and to harvest fresh vegetables, all while enjoying the surrounding beauty.
“We found such delight in walking through the land, picking vegetables and availing of nature's bounty,” says Pax. “Compared to our time together before, we got more fresh air, and replaced popcorn, movie snacks and rich lunch choices with fresh and organic kale, eggplant, tomatoes and squash.”
Pax and her mom are on to something. Early COVID research points to the uplift of time in nature as a positive pastime. Findings from a study in the British Journal of Health Psychology showed that time spent in nature is an excellent activity—especially during COVID, because it is associated with greater happiness and a reduction in negative emotions like sadness or anxiety. Other reported activities that increased mood were exercising, going for walks, gardening, hobbies, and caring for children. The chart below gives more information:
According to the study, “While most time was spent in the home (74%), time spent outdoors (8%) was associated with markedly raised positive affect and reduced negative emotions. Exercising, going for walks, gardening, pursuing hobbies, and taking care of children were the activities associated with the greatest affective benefits. Home‐schooling children and obtaining information about COVID‐19 were ranked lowest of all activities in terms of emotional experience.”
Kathryn Britton, MAPP 1, can thoroughly endorse the positive emotion of taking care of children, in her case, a new baby grandson. “My mornings with James are a joy I would not have gotten without COVID-19,” says Kathryn, whose daughter and family moved closer during the pandemic. Kathryn makes sure to point out that infant care is different from homeschooling, which can be draining. “We let James lead the way, then support him, keep him safe -- and applaud his accomplishments,” Kathryn continues, describing one of the many rewards of time with James. “He's learned to laugh and clap his hands if one of us tells him he’s done a good job!”
A New Source of Joy and Mindful Being
Tessa van der Willigen, MAPP 15, has also capitalized on being outdoors, combining it with another mood-lifting activity, interacting with a pet. “My best move during COVID has been adopting a puppy!” reports Tessa, about bringing home young Chester from a shelter in April. She feels Chester brings out the positive emotions that research shows are an important element of a good life, helpful especially in challenging times. “Chester’s pure joy is infectious,” says Tessa, “And he lives in the moment, unlike us humans who are always spinning stories or hiding behind ego defenses.” Chester is an embodied reminder of the importance of mindfulness!
Planning for Happiness
For many, the pandemic has limited avenues for joy that were once so easy, like meeting friends for dinner, or showing up at your local studio for a favorite yoga class. It follows that learning to develop a plan for our happiness is more important now than ever. Jodi Wellman, MAPP 15, and husband Brian are finding joy in planning out scrumptious weekly menus together as they take long walks. The foodie talk and whetting of appetites might be enjoyable enough, but the couple doesn’t stop there. Together, they put plans into action with another shared ritual, ordering online ingredients each Saturday morning. The couple puts anticipatory savoring into practice as they look forward to each specially selected meal, and then they delight in the experience of dining together each night. “Not every meal is a wine-paired classic,” Jodi says, “but pre-savoring and planning this special time together has become a keeper of a ritual.”
Even during a pandemic, the ups and downs of normal living continue, opening new avenues for both celebrating and coping. Robin Johnson, MAPP 15, understands this very well, as she navigated the pandemic, the uplift of finishing her MAPP degree, and the challenge of changing life circumstances. Like Jodi, Robin uses the strategy of planning for happiness in advance. “When I feel a heaviness of spirit sometimes in the evenings, I take my emotional vitamins,” says Robin. Her happiness plan often means being inspired by the arts for a pick-me-up. “I turn to a fun musical like Mary Poppins, or some spritely music like Handel’s Water Music or Vivaldi’s The Four Seasons,” says Robin. “That always lifts my spirits.” Robin is able to recognize when mood boosting is needed, and she knows exactly what will bring joy. Having go-to happiness activities at the ready is key.
Adapting Rituals
One source of substantial loss during the pandemic has been our inability to gather together to participate in important collective rituals like graduation ceremonies, funerals, and weddings. Karen Warner, MAPP 8, used her creativity to adapt her wedding ceremony. “John and I were married in what I fondly call My Big Fat Zoom Wedding,” says Karen. “After we canceled our planned ceremony in Gettysburg, where we’d met,” Karen reflects, “We puttered around for a while and then decided to find a way to marry virtually.”
The couple didn’t want the feel of a screen-only wedding, so they created a hybrid. There was a safe gathering of a few people for the backyard ceremony, including the couple and their minister. Family and friends were invited to participate virtually. They added many beautiful, meaningful touches to both the in-person and Zoom aspects of the ritual. “At the end of all the toasts and laughter, John and I exchanged vows. We both choked up as we shared them,” says Karen. “We played the Springsteen version of You Never Can Tell (C’est la vie, say the old folks…) as people rang off. We recorded it all, then basked in the glow.” With her new expertise and high level of enthusiasm, Karen is extending offers to assist others who may wish to plan a wedding during the pandemic!
Uplift for Others
Several MAPP grads are putting the principle of helping others into full effect during the pandemic. The beauty of an altruistic approach is that, as we are care for others, we often experience increased joy ourselves. Margaret Greenburg, MAPP 1, Odilia Rivera Santos, MAPP 15, and Darlene Marshall, MAPP 15, are givers by nature. They’ve kept at it during the pandemic, often feeling renewed in the process.
In addition to sharing well-being resources on social media, Odilia works to educate voters. “The activist crew gets together to discuss feelings, challenges, and any good news,” says Odilia about necessary methods of support. When colleagues are struggling, she puts positive psychology into practice by emphasizing good things, like the many great people helping out, and progress being made. In addition, Odilia provides support in a very important way, she listens. “Listening to people speak about hunger in their communities can be taxing,” she says, “So I make sure to pray for God's guidance.” And she keeps a good perspective on her role. “I can't save the world,” Odilia says, “but a small contribution toward others' well-being always increases my own. I am grateful to be in a position to help others.”
Margaret Greenburg uses a tradition handed down in her family as a way to give to others. “Since I was a little girl I loved to bake,” she says, “First at my grandmother's side, and later with my daughters at my side.” Once a week, Margaret takes a cup of the sour dough starter whipped up last March, and bakes two loaves -- one to give away and one to keep. “As soon as the breads come out of the oven and cool just slightly, I wrap one round loaf in brown paper,” she says, “And then wrap that in a blanket to keep it even warmer for delivery.” Margaret takes in the beauty of the scenery en route to a neighbor’s home. Then, as she gifts the loaf, she watches joy expressed in her neighbor’s face. “I am so grateful for new friendships,” Margaret says, which have been forged during the time of COVID. “As I head back to the cabin, I’m already thinking about who will be the recipient of next week’s bread.”
Darlene Marshall decided to uplift others by modeling habits of well-being. Darlene created a social media challenge called, Come What May, to help others practice 31days of meditation, movement, and gratitude during the month of May. The activities were selected to reduce the anxiety of uncertainty. Darlene experimented with a variety of activities for herself, too, including a recommitment to writing exercises…
Reboot Well-Being Writing Activities
“When lockdowns first began, I started a writing habit based on the Morning Pages exercise,” continues Darlene. “I'd free-write 3 pages in a notebook just to get the anxiety, confusion, & fear out so I could move through my day.” Darlene’s writing activities changed over time. “Now I wake in the morning, write 3 things I'm grateful for, then write all my goals out for today, this month, this quarter, mid-term goals, and long-term (yup, all of them, every day, by hand),” says Darlene, “It keeps me focused on the right things.”
Darlene’s efforts are aligned with researcher James Pennebaker’s pioneering studies of expressive writing to lessen the effects of trauma, and to enhance feelings of well-being. He is currently leading The Pandemic Project as an extension of his role at the University of Texas-Austin. Researchers in the project collect data on pandemic experiences and provide resources to address negative effects of COVID-19. Expressive writing exercises are a key focus, with prompts provided to get you started.
Aren Cohen, MAPP 2, decided to recommit to a writing activity, too, something she found very valuable at key times in her life. “I have recently rededicated myself to keeping a gratitude journal again — a process mostly abandoned circa 2015/16.” The daily accounting of good things and the meaning behind them keeps Aren moving forward. In addition to this personal activity, Aren dedicated a good deal of her time, like Odilia, to civic responsibilities related to the election. Like all of the MAPP alumni featured here, Aren has found multiple meaningful strategies for making her way through pandemic days.
Physical Distance Doesn’t Mean Social Distance
Two featured MAPP grads are finding ways to bond socially during the pandemic. Kathryn Britton, MAPP 1, has it a little easier, as her family is nearby and included in the same pandemic “pod.” Still, Kathryn makes concerted effort in helping all members feel close. Because each member has varied daytime responsibilities, they have initiated family game night. In Kathryn’s case, it is in-person, but many others find fun in Zoom games across the miles. “We have an occasional board game night at my daughter's house when the baby is in bed,” says Kathryn. “I particularly enjoy it because my son, who has spent many hours playing games, gets a chance to shine. He understands game strategies better than any of us. He remembers game rules and explains them patiently.” Kathryn emphasizes that incorporating a variety of activities offers the different members opportunities to show strengths and skills, providing much satisfaction for all.
Karen Warner, MAPP 8, and her new husband, John, take part in family “Song Night,” created during the pandemic. “Every week we are assigned a song category,” says Karen, “Each of us shows up on Zoom Tuesday night with a YouTube video of our selected song.” The examples of categories are wide ranging, including a song that reminds you of someone you’d rather forget; a song for a road trip; a song that makes you want to dance, your favorite song to work out to, just to give a few.
“There’s something really sweet about a younger family member coming up with the idea for Song Night and emceeing it; the secret prep where we each search for the perfect song, finding just the right video (actual performances over canned music videos are encouraged), and sharing our screens back and forth between Chicago, Atlanta, and South Carolina.” Karen also notes that there’s been no fall off in attendance — and sometimes her husband’s 90 year old mom joins in if she’s visiting. She sums up the joy of the experience, “During a time when much threatens to divide us physically and sometimes philosophically, we can unite over the ancient rituals of music, 2020 style.”
Final Thoughts
There is an old adage that when one door closes, another opens. This is often said about one door, yet the positive psychology practitioners from MAPP are finding it applies when multiple doors have been closed suddenly and simultaneously. “Only through the closure of one set of activities did we discover more-than-adequate replacements,” says Pax Tandon. “Some that are far more conducive to health and vitality. So that's post "traumatic" growth, isn't it?”
About the Author
Jan Stanley is a facilitator, consultant, and celebrant who helps foster well-being with designed gatherings and modern rituals. Jan serves on the faculty in the MAPP program at UPenn, and is a facilitator with the Penn Resilience Program. She has helped develop the skills and careers of thousands of leaders with instructional, experiential, and coaching services. To submit to a curated collection of well-being rituals, reach out at jan.b.stanley@gmail.com.
